Who would miss me?
by kankankan
Summary: Oneshot. Vegeta contemplates leaving, leaving for good. After literally screwing around with Goku and Goten he's decided its time to leave, but who will miss him and who will be sad to see him go? HUMOUR


**Who would miss me?**

**Summary:** _One-shot. Vegeta contemplates leaving, leaving for good. Who would miss him and who would be sad to see him go? Vegeta's point of view, humour_.

**Disclaimer:** Don't own DBZ, blah blah etc etc.

I wonder if everyone would miss me. If I just upped and left one day, who would care?

Bra would probably cry, but it wouldn't so much be on a personal level as a material level. Yes, I'm ashamed to admit it, I'm a terrible father and so I bought my daughters love, I spoiled her rotten (with Bulma's money of course, you really think **I** have a job?) and she'll miss that if I go. Her mother certainly wont spoil her like I did, there's little affection between the two, they spend all their time trying to out-do each other, who's the prettiest, who's the smartest, who's hair is more blue? She'd cry, but not for me. So I can cross that one off the list too.

What about Trunks, my heir, my son. Well he looked up to me once, he idolized me, nothing I did was wrong in his eyes, that is until he caught me fooling around with his best friend/boyfriend/love crush Goten. It wasn't my fault, the boy just leapt on me, I did try to fight him off at first. Honest. But then I kind of started to enjoy myself in a sick sort of way, and so when trunks opened the door to his room (his room of all places!) to find two very naked sayains, one his best friend and one his father…well lets just say he hasn't really spoken to me since, so I don't suppose he'd miss me much either.

But Goten might miss me, yeah? Goten has a cute little crush on me, he pestered me to spar with him more than trunks ever did, but I think the kind of sparring Goten had in mind was a more 'horizontal' sparring, if you know what I mean. Still, I was flattered of course, not surprised, I am a very attractive sayain after all, the prince in fact, but definitely flattered. And so we fooled around once, more than once in fact. And when Trunks caught us, ran from the room crying even, did either of us get up to go console him/ Did we hell, we carried on. I could have really had something with that kid, age difference aside and all, we were good together, he was always willing. Too willing though, and after a while I started to get kind of bored, and went looking for something a little more challenging. I think Goten threatened suicide a couple of times after finding out, and I guess since I never bothered to call or anything to make sure he was alive he's taken the huff too. So there goes another one happy to see me leave.

Kakarott would miss his sparring partner. We were always a challenge to one another, always rowing and fighting and sparring and generally kicking the hell out of one another. That was a fiery relationship, one that really gave my life a little more meaning. Until I buggered that up too when I jumped him after a particularly fierce spar., Oh it wasn't so much the fact that we had sex (lots of times) on that day, it was when he realized I'd had his son first. Get this right, not that I'd had his son, that I'd had his so _first_ was what bothered him. I fooled around with Goten before I'd considered fooling around with his dad, so Kakarott felt all jealous and whimper and sniffly and upset. I should have consoled him really, then maybe we could fuck around by the river again, but I'm too prideful for all that, so I let him go. And he'd let me go too, if I left today he wouldn't chase me and beg me to come back.

Chichi would love to see go, I violated half her family for Christs sake. She'd chuck pans after me and curse until I become just a dot on the horizon, then go inside and call Bulma to slag me off some more.

Bulma wouldn't join in though, even though she knew I was screwing over her friend and her friends son and still having the audacity to bed her every night, she's love me no matter what and she wouldn't say a word against me. Well, so I thought anyway. But when Chichi **did** call her and tell her _everything_ so didn't come sobbing to me and ask me why she wasn't good enough for me anymore, like I'd planned, I'd even planned how to sort it out too, I was willing to show compassion for once, and give her a good fucking to keep her satisfied, but she didn't get that fuck, and you know why? Because she was _mad at me._ The bitch had the nerve to _throw me out_.

And now I'm sat here, in the yard, contemplating where to go next. I've got no friends I can stay with, if I so much as darken Kakarott's doorstep his wife will throw cutlery at me and his son will cry in front of me and he'll tell me to quit screwing over his family and that'll just be embarrassing for all involved.

So I made my mind up, I'm going away, and no one will miss me and I wont miss them because there's someone I forgot to mention, someone who'll put up with me no matter how much I fuck up, or fuck people up, and you know who that someone is?

No? Well neither do I, but if I start looking now _eventually_ I'll find them, right?

Right?


End file.
